Firstly, 101 apologies, because I'm well aware I haven't posted anything on here in almost 2 weeks and I honestly feel truly guilty about it. The only reason this has happened, of course, being that I've been dreadfully lazy and unmotivated and there's really no excuse for it. I've seriously got to sort my priorities out, starting from now.
Unfortunately, the weather here in Annecy is doing nothing to improve my 0.01 level of motivation à ce moment as, even though it's officially been Spring for over 2 weeks, it's grey, wet and cold. Not unlike a typical day in Wellington, might I add, however irked I am that of all the reminders I could be given of home, this is what I get! Come on sun, I need your warming, uplifting rays of joy! I also want to be able to wear my new leather jacket without turning into an icicle, thankyouverymuch.
It's really quite strange how when I look back at each day in retrospect when I'm cuddled up in bed, and while it appears to have gone pretty fast, when I think back to the few amazing days before I left New Zealand, it seems like a lifetime ago! I think it's probably got something to do with the fact that from the moment I stepped foot on that very first plane to Auckland, my whole life changed entirely. Cheesy and a cliché, I know, but it's honestly such a truthful statement when you think about it. In fact, I only just realised the other day that I've never been so far from my home, friends or family for this long in my whole life, which is an incredibly strange thing to think about, not to mention a very unfamiliar situation to have to deal with. I think this is probably the reason that while my time here is whooshing by reasonably fast, New Zealand and my life in it, seems like a whole world away.
Surprisingly I don't have a lot to tell you from the past 13 days... Life has sort of gone on as usual, if I'm perfectly honest. School's been quite long and tiring (although no more visits from le Roi, much to my pleasure), the sun is refusing to shine and I've done minimal shopping (although this is probably a good thing - Dad be proud!) Not everything is completely miserable though, as I feel I'm making it out to be. Mon dieu, I don't want you thinking that! Because although I'm reasonably homesick and some days are pretty challenging, I won't lie, I do love France.
I've mentioned already that the reason for my absence here has been total and utter lack of motivation, a character fault on my behalf that isn't exactly a new addition to my character, but I've realised that the more I allow things to stay this way, the more time I'm going to waste by being completely unproductive. That's just not a very good way of life, now, is it?
You see, here's the thing, sometimes I'm too soft on myself, because I think "Oh, just relax Eloise, you've been thinking hard all day, you're so tired, you need a break." and while this is partially true, the more I believe this, the worse it becomes and I get absolutely nothing, zilch, rien done!
Most of you may have figured by now that I enjoy writing, rather immensely, in fact. I like to think of myself as someone with various passions, and while it's true I enjoy a good day of shopping or a cupcake baking session as much as the next person, nothing compares with attempting to move my fingers to match the speed of which sentences are forming in my mind. It's a real blast I tell you. I can also honestly say that I truly feel a sense of pride when I look back on things I've written, even if they're not my best work.
The truth is, I'm so often and easily inspired to write by the things and people around me, but it's a rare occasion that this is then converted into motivation and finally words, because I allow distractions to overcome any form of excitement to start something, and then by the time my mind returns to the thought of getting down to business (hehe), the moment has passed. It's sad, because practically every moment of every day I'm forming sentences in my head, thinking of things to write, but they rarely escape onto paper, and are instead discarded and thrown onto a dejected pile in my mind, never to see the light of day or meet the eyes of potential readers.
Anyway, I guess the whole point of this rant is to say that yesterday I reread a few chapters of a novel I started back in 2010, and as much as I wholeheartedly hated it and excusing the fact that I mentally picked it to absolute smithereens, it really did wonders with refuelling the author within me. I've decided to restart the novel, because the main idea isn't bad (I literally had every part of the plot down to the smallest details figured out, which makes things easier for me now, thanks 15 year old me), and I think it might have a bit of potential now that I realise it's not ok to use the words 'afro ninja' to describe a character's hair, or that 'could of' is absolutely, definitely, one of the worst grammatical errors ever to have been uttered (regrettably by me, at least 4 times) and not accepted in any size, shape or form.
To assure I make a start somewhere (and let's be honest, this is NOT going to happen with endless diversions on the internet) tomorrow I plan to buy myself a notebook, walk to Old Annecy, eat lunch at a newly discovered, completely idyllic French cafe, and while away the afternoon with a good spot of writing. The ideas are literally bursting from my head and I absolutely can't wait.
If that doesn't sound perfect, I don't know what does.
That's all for now, I promise I won't keep you waiting this long for an update again!
Wish me luck with my new strategy! I wonder how long it will last...
Yours truly,
me, Eloise x
AFRO NINJA HAHAHAHHAHAHA I LOVE YOU
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